English is So Weird - Vol. I

This is the first in a series of explorations into the English language. I’ll be looking at literary devices, quirks of vocabulary, and touch on regional dialects. It’s by no means comprehensive—yet. Much will be review for those serious literary types out there, but hopefully you can share in the enjoyment of (re)discovery. What can I say? English is a weird language! But I love it.

Should you lose your bearings in the woods, just bear east, past the burial ground, and you will soon arrive at the berry patch. This time of year, the shrubs bear delicious berries. But beware: they are also thorny, so unless you want to bear scratches for days after, it’s best not to go there with bare arms or legs. Additionally, bear in mind that there are bears, who consider the area to be theirs. The females, especially those who have born cubs that year, cannot bear intruders. Did you know that a male bear is called a boar? Sorry, I don’t mean to bore you. That bare fact actually has no bearing on what we’re discussing. Bear with me! At the bare minimum, they’re startling, but there are cases where a bear bared its teeth at berriers—that is, bearers of berries—whereupon they sought barriers to hide behind. The shack at the western border of the clearing is barely adequate as a means of shelter.  Don’t worry though! The boards are tough (except the couple bored by woodpeckers), and the bears soon become bored and wander off.  Honestly, I’d go with you, but I’m buried in work.

I’m investigating homonyms and homophones, of which English has many! They can cause confusion, and are some of the most common errors that proofreaders and copyeditors look for. They can sneak by Spellcheck too!

Homonyms are two or more words that have the same spelling and pronunciation, but different meanings. “Can”, a cylindrical container made of metal, and “can”, a verb asserting capability or permission, are one pair of homonyms.

Homophones are two or more words that sound the same, but are spelled differently. “Know” and “no” are one such pair.

I also just discovered a new term: homograph! Homographs are words that are spelled the same, but pronounced differently. “Bass”, a large stringed instrument, and “bass”, a type of freshwater fish, are homographs.

How about you? Do you have homonyms, homophones or homographs that regularly give you trouble in your writing? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.